is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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