help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize