How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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