I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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