do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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