Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
