Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
