bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
