i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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