There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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