He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
