this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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