She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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