Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
