Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
