you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
