We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
