Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
