I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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