Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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