plz talk dirty to me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dick very happy bro
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