He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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