But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
