whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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