i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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