He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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