hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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