Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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