Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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