He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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