Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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