Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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