Sry I called you an 8
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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