my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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