well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
