why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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