we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
