She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
