tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
