So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
