omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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