now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
