oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
