Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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