so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
