Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
