I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she peed on how many people?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
