I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
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I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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