Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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