You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
