HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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