the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
