I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
