your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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