My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
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we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
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She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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