I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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