i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
