The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
