Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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