I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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